“Your kids will know Jesus because of you.” This phrase was said to me this morning in church. I was so taken back by this I didn’t fully comprehend what this meant.  Being a sold out follower of Christ in my family is something that doesn’t happen. I am changing my entire family’s future because of my choice to be a follower of Christ. I affect my future children and the generations to follow.

Being an exception in this world is something that I don’t see very often. I should not be who I am today statistically. Breaking the odds is something that I love saying that I  am a part of !  I pray that my future husband will me a man of Great Goodly that will continue to lead my family with grace. I pray that he leads me as a man should lead, and is my prince charming that I have been waiting for.   I cannot wait for the day I get to start my own family!

Most of the time I take the feeling of security for granted. There is something about feeling secure that I can not explain. When you lose that feeling of security life becomes vulnerable. Like when your having a bad dream and all you want is your mom there to hold you and tell you everything’s gonna be alright.
That feeling of security is irreplaceable.

After the first few days of DNow I realized how much it is in my blood to lead and to be apart of the body of Christ. I couldn’t imagine my life any different. My life is a life of influence and that is a life I love but when asked who I want to influence its hard because I have to narrow down the masses and make a few that intentionally want to mentor. Yet we are called to invest in people as iron sharpens iron. (proverbs 27:17) Influence is absolutely one of the most import at things that I value . I want to positively influence someone’s life it’s my heart!

My heart hurts tonight as I realize how much our culture is lacking an influence of positive measure. We have so may influences but may of them are so negative. I just want to scream when I look at the world expecially the Christian world. We as Christian “church goers” get so stuck in our comfort of our own church we don’t even realize that there are 900 other churches that are out there and we should be working togeather to be one body of Christ. Severing the community for one purpose and one purpose only. Yet we are sitting in our pews doing nothing but fighting with the church arcoss town for whatever meaningless reason. Well it’s stupid and needs to come to an end.

As we were on the way home my car told me about how they thought I eS the perfect influence and how they wanted to be like me. That was crazy to hear coming from my peers. It just reassured me that I am on the right path.

Well I’m tired of typing on my phone and tired of ranting. I quit good night!

Sometimes it’s the little things that seem to be pointless that remind me God’s there and working constantly. Thank you God for that reminder that your always there even in the little choices like where we eat, sit and the questions we ask. Thank you Lord for providing us with a chance to show your love and grace. Most of all thank you for the reminder for me saying “hey look at the opportunity I just set up. Yes I’m still here watching over you.” thank you for reminding me of that!

Listening to this song makes me realize how many girls are walking through apart of my life that I hate. I hate that I have never met my biological father because its one of those things that slowly kills me. I pretend that I have it all together. I am so worried that this song will be my life story and I don’t want it to be.  I am afraid I will give myself head over heals for that one guy who loves me like a father should.

I have to come to terms with this everyone tells me but they don’t get how hard it is. not at all. Not one will ever get it…  

Sometimes watching a father and daughther kills me and I envy that so much.  Idon’t know what to do somedays so I just call upon Jesus saying Jesus can you hear me can you put the peices back togeather and be a father to the fatherless.

I know it will be amazing to look back one day and see all that Jesus has brought me through and one day I will write to my dad and say look at all that you missed You should be ashamed. I know that God will hold me togeather and be my hero and my knight in shining armor. 

Thank you to my examples of a fathers. I need you more than you will ever know. I

I question daily how I have turned out like I have because I should not be this person but then I realize that I have Jesus that why I am who I am.